Roller coaster of emotions

Today I was a roller coaster. I met with the sisters of the boy who is hospitalized in critical condition. We set up a system of support, like a "feelings box" where they can put their feelings written out into the slot, or write letters to their brother. After doing this for awhile they went to class. Later, one of them came back because she was too upset to be in class. She made a poster saying she loves her brother. After finishing it we went to put it in her backpack. She stopped and turned toward her teacher, clearly needing to say something. So I asked if she had something to tell her teacher. She couldn't answer. We moved closer to teacher, and waited. She just looked within herself trying to find the words. We waited. We supported. We tried to coax. Nothing verbally, but her eyes said it all. The emotions in them were so deep and so pure I started to cry. She needed to say, "I'm not okay. My brother might die, and I can't find the words to release the torrent of sadness and fear I am feeling. I'm not okay." All she could say--and only with our help--is "I'm sad." My heart aches. She and her sister are twins, but the three of them are so close in age, and have always been best friends, so it's more like they're triplets. This she was able to say. I am dreading the call that will come--in days, or weeks, or months, that changes it all forever. How will I support her and her family. It's hard to imagine.

I went to see my little guy who is being abused. He was in a special class. He was sitting up front, so excited to participate. He was reading along with the simple book, pointing out things in the pictures, answering questions that the teacher was posing. He was so proud of what he knew. He was super excited that "I can write my name. Do you want me to show you?" I reminded him of our deal--keep your hands and feet to yourself (don't hit or kick) and you can come to my office to see my rats. He hadn't remembered. At the end of the day I remembered, and ran to see how he did. He had a hyper day, but did SOOOOO much better in the "no hitting" department He was about to get on the bus. I held his hands and looked in his eyes and celebrated with him, " You get to come see me in my office tomorrow and pet my rats." " I do?" he said excitedly, then gave me a great big hug. I do adore that boy!!

Later I talked to mom of boy in the hospital. We talked about how to support sisters, and brother is doing the same. Mom was so grateful for all we're doing, and I thanked her for letting us help. It's so much harder not to be able to do anything.

On the way home from work I heard one of my favorite songs. I cranked the radio and sang at the top of my lungs. I got home while the song was still on, and sat in the car belting out the words.

Today, favorite songs on the radio, pure emotions, and sweet little kiddos make me happy.

Sweet, amazing kiddos

Today I went to visit the little guy who we think is being abused and taking it out on the kids in his class. Man was he adorable. First, he was very happy to see me. Sooooo sweet, his little face looking up at me. He was, of course, very good when I was sitting next to him. And what I loved the most...he was just singing away. His teacher, who I adore, plays a song daily about community and togetherness. He was just belting out the song, and knew ALL the words. He was not happy when I told him I needed to go, though I tried to remind him that I had a deal with him that if he didn't hit or kick anyone for the rest of the day, he could come see me in my office and hold my pet rats. Sadly, about an hour later I saw him going to the principals office :( Some kids you just want to adopt.

Children singing makes me happy.

Later, as I was teaching a class, I got paged by the secretary. When I got a hold of her she told me my kiddo whose dad committed suicide a week ago was crying hard and needed me. So, I had her take kiddo to my room and wait for me. I got to a place in my lesson where I could leave, and then went to my office to talk to kiddo. She had been writing from a prompt about a fun activity, then suddenly realized that the only person she does this activity with is dad. She began to cry in class. She had a substitute teacher, poor thing, so the plan we had in place for when she got upset was kind of compromised. Sweet little thing had to tell the sub her dad just died so she could come see me. Well, I was able to comfort her with a little TLC, my furry little rats, and some time alone in my room. After school I told her I'd take her home instead of her riding the bus, and we got a milkshake on the way home. This little act seemed to help a lot in the moment. We talked on the way home--She is so courageous and amazing. I am so blessed to have the opportunity to try to help in her healing.

Being a support person to amazing kids makes me happy.