Crisis Response

So...it was definitely a loooong week at work. And most everyone I talked to felt it. Massive exhaustion creeping in with the dark and dreery Oregon weather. Even on the "sunny" days, it was dark.

As I mentioned in previous posts, I started the week at a Crisis Response training. It was interesting, but emotional, as we listened to accounts of grief and trauma and tried to prepare for supporting kids and families for future unforeseen grief and trauma. The amazing thing was, when broken into small groups a main focus for my small group was how to handle a crisis centered around suicide, all the while, a situation resembling this was occurring in our district.

A distraught and hopeless man caused the lock-down in two of our schools that very afternoon due to his threats of suicide with a handgun. Unfortunately, he completed this threat, which impacted not only his children but many other children and adults in the surrounding schools and community.

I was relieved that it was not my team on call this month, as I am not sure I would've been "up" for this crisis. Still...such a tragedy never occurs without impacting all of us. My thoughts and prayers are with this family.

I think about the statements made by the presenter of my training...

If someone dies of cancer, we say they died of a disease of the body. When someone dies of suicide, we need to see that they died of a disease of the brain. I do know this to be true.

Today. the loving support of friends and family makes me happy. Some days it is easy to forget these things are there...especially for those in crisis.

Prayers and secret notes

Today as I awoke I was feeling exhausted, and down. I was thinking "how can I take a mental health day," because I couldn't imagine making it through the week without some solitude and rest. So I decided to pray. I don't usually find this noticeably works when I am depressed, but I was inspired by the mom who I helped tell her daughter that the dad committed suicide. And, I always want to improve my spiritual connection. So...I asked for energy and a positive attitude. To my delight, about 20 minutes later I felt amazingly better.

Then I thought about how I could spread this positive energy. So today I began a secret campaign to inspire others at my work. I started writing anonymous notes to co-workers about the wonderful things they do, and how lucky our school is to have them. I tried to pick people that others wouldn't necessarily compliment. I tried to be very specific to who they are in my compliments. I am going to have to pay closer attention so I can get to everyone in an authentic way, without being found out. I haven't heard their response. That would be a fun thing to be privy to. But...I am hopeful that it made them feel good.

Today I am happy about answered prayers, and secret notes of appreciation.

I made it through

I made it through today. I am so very tired. The kind of tired you feel down to your bones, where you feel like you don't know how you're going to get up and do it all again tomorrow. But you have to.

Today I am happy that some of my colleagues are wonderful enough to tell me how much they appreciate having me at the school, and "get" how hard my job is. They tell me I'm wonderful and they don't know what they'd do without me. It's hard not to poo poo their compliments, but deep down it means so much to me that they see me.